When the cat's away

My boss is on vacation, which means I get to do things like call Babies R Us and find out why the Graco stroller I ordered is on backorder again. The last time they just up and cancelled my order and when I called to complain that their web site said the item was back in-stock, I got a 10% discount and free shipping. However, I've yet to receive the stroller...only an e-mail telling me that it has been backordered again. Hmm.

Oh, Graco Ipo stroller. How I wish I had you on these beautiful summer days...

Two birds with one stone

Father's Day was Sunday and Patrick's birthday was on Monday. Back-to-back celebrations, which meant no time for me to post any pictures. So I'm combining them into one post today.

I only took a couple of pictures on Father's Day - it was a bittersweet day. Patrick got to spend the day with his two boys, and then went to the cemetery to visit his dad. The first Father's Day without him. I took this picture when everyone was either tired or squirrely, but I still like it (even though Griffin was looking off in another direction):

[caption id="attachment_812" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Father's Day 2009"][/caption]

Patrick decided he wanted to go to McGuire's for his birthday dinner. We got the diaper bag ready, changed Griffin (these days it's like being in the WWE the way he fights it), and got him loaded into the car. When we got to the restaurant, the parking lot seemed kind of empty, especially for a night when the Cubs were playing. That was when we noticed the sign that said, "Remodeling. See you soon." I could tell Patrick was disappointed - this has always been his favorite place. We go there each St. Patrick's Day, and one year, we waited well over an hour just to eat a burger (OK, it was a really good burger, but over an hour?). We decided on Famous Dave's. A good, but distant second choice. The restaurant was nice and empty so it didn't matter how loud Griffin was (although he was surprisingly quiet until after we ate and he really wanted out of his highchair). Again, not too many pictures, but these are my favorites:

[caption id="attachment_813" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Ready and Waiting"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_814" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Corn. It's what's for dinner."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_815" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Let's tickle Griffin to get him to smile for the camera..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_816" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="When babies attack..."][/caption]

I know the past couple of days have been rough for Patrick and he's really missing his dad now. I just hope we were able to make him smile.

A new look

I get bored easily, so I'm making some changes to the look of my blog. I'm at work and don't have the time to finish it right now. Hopefully, I'll get everything fixed by tomorrow.

And who knows, I might change it again. I do like the look of the text, though.

I lost 5 pounds on the way to my car

Alternate Title: It's f'ing hot outside.

Alternate, Alternate Title: Why did I wear black pants to work?

One small step for Griffin

I saw Griffin take a tiny step this morning. One tiny, little step. It's just the beginning...

Insane in the membrane

It isn't easy being green

Envy. It gets hold of me more than I'd like. I always thought I'd be able to handle it better as I got older, but so far that hasn't happened. I guess I envisioned a point in my life when I wouldn't care what other people had or did. I'd be happy with myself. I'd be content with who I was and where I was in my own life (content does not mean stagnant, of course). But who was I kidding? Did I really think I'd ever not look at someone else's life and wish I had what they had? I don't know if I've ever met another person who hasn't done that. If you've never done that, please post a comment, because I'd really, really love to know your secret.

I was really hesitant to post this topic because it has to do with someone I know. Someone I sort of know...or someone I sort of knew. And then there's this other person who reads this blog on occasion who knows both of us and I know it would have been pretty obvious to her who I was talking about and I think it would have led to some awkwardness and embarrassment on my part. So I decided not to write this, but then I started to think about why I even started this blog over three years ago. It was a way for me to keep track of what was going on in my life. Even though I was putting this out there for other people to read if they wanted to, it was for me to write for myself. That's the worst part about a blog - censoring your own thoughts from yourself. Believe me, there are some things I would LOVE to write about, but I don't want everyone to know.

So here goes. For as long as I can remember, I have loved writing. I don't exactly know how far back that goes, but I do recall a 6th grade poetry assignment when I had to read my poem in front of the class and a boy named Zachary Baker said to the class, "That's not a poem! It doesn't even rhyme!" I was mortified. My face grew hot and my lips quivered. Did poems have to rhyme? Why didn't I even think of that? The reason I hadn't thought of that was because THEY DON'T HAVE TO RHYME. That's when I realized that I was a damn good writer and Zachary was a complete dolt. Since then I've had a passion for writing (and apparently a passion for horrible cliches, but I digress). One of my goals in life is to write a novel. It doesn't have to ever be published. I just want to write one. OK, so I'd be a huge liar if I said I never fantasized about walking through Border's and seeing my book on one of the shelves - preferably not the clearance shelf.

So why the envy, you ask? The person I mentioned earlier has written a couple of novels. Big deal, right? It shouldn't be. But it is. She's younger (by about 10 years). She also works full-time and has a baby. So what's my problem? Why haven't I written a novel? Why don't I have the discipline that she does? I sit and stew about this all the time. Is Griffin more fussy than her baby? Does he sleep less than her baby? Do I lack the drive and the discipline? Is she a better writer? But then there's the flipside. I've never read anything she's written, so maybe her writing sucks. Maybe she can crank out so much writing at the expense of spending time with her family. Her baby isn't mobile yet and I can only think how things will change for her once she has to spend her time chasing a baby throughout the house. She also only has one child at home and doesn't understand the demands of having a baby and an older child who is in Little League and who has homework and school projects and summer camp and band. She doesn't suffer from debilitating migraines. She doesn't know what it's like to have a father-in-law who suddenly falls ill and passes away leaving behind a son who struggles to make sense of the loss of his dad and friend. She doesn't know what it's like to have to take care of the surviving mother-in-law, having her over for dinner and making sure she makes it to her doctors' appointments because it hasn't even been two years since she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  But maybe these are just excuses.

For the first time in a long time I feel motivated to write. I've got a great idea for a story and I've been fleshing out my characters and making a very basic outline for some scenes. It's slow going, but that's how things have to be right now. I want to do some writing this summer, some serious writing, because I need to take advantage of this burst of creativity and energy. But then I hear about this other person's successes, or even just the amount of work she's cranking out and I get so envious, and at times, I flat out get pissed off. I can't help comparing myself.

The only consolation I have is that for a writer, she continually misspells the word hilarious (she has a blog and I read it). Anyway, I guess  she finds a lot of stuff really funny. In fact, they're not just funny, they're downright "halarious." And I'm not afraid to admit that the envious and bitchy parts of me find that to be incredibly satisfying. Ahh...redemption.

Naps and headaches

Today was a weird day. There's no other way to explain it. Griffin has been battling a cold for the past few days and the poor guy is struggling to breathe through his nose. He slept pretty well last night, but was up at 6 AM and kind of fussed his way through the next couple of hours. I have been battling migraines for the past week and this morning was no different, so at 6 AM I was not ready to wake up, let alone take care of a sick and fussy baby. But I did, and I even made apple cinnamon muffins at 6:30 AM (please hold your applause...they were from a package).

By the time Griffin took his morning nap, I was exhausted and my head was throbbing. I crawled back into bed. Patrick was still there (he'd had a bad night and hadn't gotten much sleep). I could make this really short story really long, but I won't. The bottom line is that all three of us napped today at the same time. Then we all battled headaches today. I had a migraine. Patrick had a tension headache. I assume Griffin had a sinus-type headache. We were all a bit out of sorts. Griffin is in bed right now and Patrick is taking another nap. Griffin is reacting to his cold, and I think Patrick has been in a funk lately - he's been missing his dad a lot. Me? I'm not sure what my problem is. The headaches have been back and I'm not too happy about that. Work has been stressful again. I've got some other issues I'm dealing with, but those need their own post, which I fully intend to write a) when I can find the time and b) when I can find the courage.

Real people

Griffin has been eating a lot lately. He doesn't want "baby" food anymore (pureed foods, although applesauce and pureed pears are still OK). I keep telling people he really loves "real people" food, but then I realize that this makes him sound like he's not a real person. What I mean to say is that he wants to only eat big people food. Last night he ate a cheese quesadilla. Last week he had some tilapia and green beans. He also likes grilled cheese (with provolone cheese!), papaya, and mango. And once, when he went to Sam's Club with a group from day care, he had a sample of Chicken Cordon Bleu.

Griffin's a real person. He's also quite the exotic eater.