Promises

There are very few things I need to do before I die. I've always wanted to see Paris - after six years of studying French, I feel like I should go there and speak the language. Too bad that fear of flying gets in the way. I've already gotten married and had children, so I can cross those off my list.

Then there's writing a novel. That one has been on my list for years, but work and life always seem to get in the way. When I signed up to compete in NaNoWriMo last year, I felt like it was my chance to reach my goal. At the end of November I had written over 53,000 words and was only a little over halfway to my goal. The holidays were just around the corner and I stopped writing. I had half of a novel written and very little motivation to finish it.

As time slipped by, I found myself wishing I could just finish the book. What was getting in my way? It turns out it was me. I was watching TV when I could have been writing. I was reading other people's books when I should have been writing mine. So I set a deadline for myself. July 22nd. It's Griffin's second birthday. What better deadline to set for myself? As crazy as it sounds, I want to do this for him. Even though he won't understand it, I want to be an example of perseverance, hard work, and moxie.

I'm only a few weeks away from my deadline and I've written over 85,000 words. I've done my best to write every day, but it doesn't always happen. The most important thing is that I'm still on track to make the deadline.

Someday I'll tell Griffin about what I did. I hope I make him proud.

Flip-flopping

When I first started a blog back in 2006, I used Blogger. It was free and easy and I had no complaints. After a couple of years, I started to feel limited by Blogger - there didn't seem to be enough widgets and I craved more creative freedom. Wordpress gave me that freedom. I really enjoyed it and it felt like a step up from Blogger. Of course, nothing is perfect, and I soon discovered that WordPress had it's limitations as well. I read a lot of blogs and often make comments. Most of those blogs I follow are on Blogger and when I go to leave a comment I have to go through a frustrating process. It's annoying (and makes me sound incredibly lazy), but all I want to do is leave a comment. Is that too much to ask for?

So I'm back to Blogger, and you know what? They've made a lot of changes and improvements.

It's good to be home.

Summer

I love summer. I love the long days and being able to go outside without having to bundle up. I love sitting on our porch at night enjoying the weather and the sounds of our neighborhood (kids laughing and playing, the ice cream truck, people mowing their lawns).

Griffin loves summer, too. In fact, he loves it so much I can barely get him back in the house for dinner. He loves running in the grass in his bare feet and playing in his little pool. I don't think he cares what he's doing as long as he's outside.

We went outside this morning so I could take him to day care. He immediately ran up to his little bike and sat on it and started saying, "Mommy...bike!" over and over. It was so sweet. I watched him for a while, wishing I didn't have to go to work, wishing I could stay home with him and play outside. It's days like this, these gorgeous summer days, when I get frustrated with work. I love what I do, but let's face it, if  I didn't have to work I wouldn't. Well, maybe something part-time just to keep my mind fresh. I feel like I miss out on so much with Griffin. I realize it on weekends when I don't have to be anywhere. We snuggle on the couch and watch Curious George. I make him pancakes and we sit together at the kitchen table just eating and talking. I love those times with him - the everyday moments.

I have no idea why I'm going on and on about this. I guess it was one of those difficult mornings where I wanted so badly to stay home with him and play and giggle. I do have a whole week of vacation scheduled for the end of July. I'm really looking forward to doing all those little things with my Griffin.

Always have to steal my kisses from you

Griffin is a cuddly kid. As a baby, he loved to snuggle on Patrick's chest or snuzzle his little face in the crook of my neck. Pure sweetness. As he got older, and mobile, those snuggling moments have come in the form of just before or after sleep. He's ready for sleep or still a bit groggy after waking up, which means his little arms and legs that are usually moving non-stop are just too tired and he needs to sit still. I love sitting on the couch with him on my lap. His muscles start to relax and his body grows heavier. Sleep is not far off.

Despite his snuggly nature, Griffin won't kiss me. Oh sure, there have been those rare moments when I bribe him with a graham cracker or a Hershey kiss, but never when I just ask for one. It used to break my heart, but then it became a running joke in our house, and then it just broke my heart again.

Yesterday, on Father's Day of all days, Griffin was giving out kisses for free. We sat on our front porch and I leaned in close to him and said, "Can you give mommy a smooch?" And he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. All day, anytime I asked for a kiss, he gave me one. I even leaned in to tell him to give his daddy a smooch and he kissed me first, then ran over to Patrick to give him one.

Who knows if that will continue, or if yesterday was just a fluke, but I'll take what I can get.

Right now

• I'm waiting for the painkillers to kick in so my migraine will go away.


• I'm eating Goldfish crackers because the meds leave a funny taste in my mouth.


• I'm daydreaming instead of working.


• I'm grateful for Patrick taking Griffin into day care this morning - my head was hurting too much to deal with the daily battle of getting Griffin dressed and out the door.


• I'm happy that it's Friday - looking forward to playing with Griffin this weekend.


• I'm proud that I've been keeping up with my writing goal.


• I'm determined that I will finish this first draft by Griffin's birthday (July 22) - only 21,969 more words.


• I'm disgusted with the Chicago Cubs, yet I feel compelled to watch each game.


• I hope my boss approves my request for a week of vacation at the end of July so I can play with Griffin and prepare for his 2nd b-day party


• I'm grateful for our state-issued health insurance for Griffin. It has saved us hundreds of dollars so far...maybe even thousands once Griffin gets his ear surgery. In all honesty, based on our income, we pay NO premium, NO co-pay, and all of his generic meds are free. I can't say enough how absolutely grateful I am to the state of Iowa.