Apr 10, 2008

Yucky

I woke up feeling yucky today. There seems to be no other word to describe it. I feel yucky in the physical sense. I'm still on antibiotics and having side effects. I'm feeling more cumbersome as the days pass. I'm also feeling sort of breathless. Is it the lingering effects of the bronchitis? Is it my asthma acting up in this weather?

Then I feel yucky in the emotional sense, but this time, I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm tired and I feel worn down (I blame this on being sick for so long). I'm absolutely swamped at work with two grants due on May 1st and our annual special event on May 12th (both of which I am in charge of). I enjoy my job - I wouldn't have lasted here five years if I didn't, but I feel like I am entering this sort of lull. I'm not itching to get out of here or anything, but...sometimes I just get tired of everything. The past few weeks I've been getting pulled in so many different directions. Everyone loves to offer up their suggestions, but they don't take the time to think through the logistical issues. They want to get their way, and I'm growing more and more tired of constantly telling them no.

To top it off, today is my yearly performance review. That's enough to make anyone feel yucky.

Also on the emotional level is the fact that just about every weekend from now until the beginning of July is booked - birthdays, holidays, staff training at work, etc. I just want some down time. I want to do things around the house. I want to read. Sometimes I just want to sit on the couch in a quiet room for five minutes.

I hope this passes. I don't like feeling like this.

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