Waiting

It's almost 10 PM on Friday night. Our night has consisted of greasy Chinese food and cleaning out the basement, a project that was supposed to be completed before Griffin was born (for those who don't know me, he's now 18 months old).

Yes, it's 10 PM and we're cleaning. Well, Patrick and Duncan are throwing out junk and moving furniture around in the basement and I'm cleaning. Nervous energy, I guess. You see, I got a phone call from my mom about 4 hours ago. She and my dad got a call from the assisted living center where my grandpa lives. She said he fell and hit his head. The paramedics were taking him to the hospital. That was 4 hours ago, and I still haven't heard from her.

I feel awful because when the phone rang tonight, I was on the couch with Griffin comfortably lounging on my lap. We were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and I was daydreaming about the greasy Chinese food we were going to have for dinner and about the prospect of possibly getting a good night sleep, so I didn't answer the phone. In my defense, I didn't know who was calling. If only I had picked up, I could at least have spoken to my mom. When I tried calling her back, her cell phone had been turned off.

So all I can do is wait. I might try calling her in a few minutes. It's very typical of my mom to have good news and then not call because a) she's relieved she got good news and b) she doesn't wat to disturb anyone (like I'd even be able to go to sleep).

I hope everything is OK. I bought my grandpa a thank you card the other day because he always gives me some cash to help pay for all my migraine medicine. I haven't sent it yet. Another thing I regret doing. Hopefully the news will be good and I can pop the card in the mail tomorrow.

37

[caption id="attachment_1158" align="aligncenter" width="510" caption="Me about 35 years ago."][/caption]

Yesterday was my 37th birthday, and to quote my mom, "How the hell did I get to be 37?" (although my mom used the number 60 when she said this a handful of years ago). Seriously though, how did I get to be 37? Wasn't it just last year when I turned 30 and then moved out here to be with Patrick? Wasn't it only a couple of years ago when I was starting college and mooning over the brooding poet in my literary studies class as he discussed the deeper meaning of The Unbearable Lightness of Being? (true story - he actually said in class, "I don't see this as a love story, but a story about the absence of love." I was smitten).

In all honesty, I'm OK with being 37. I once had a boyfriend who told me that while I was chronologically 19, emotionally I was 40.  I always thought that my life would make more sense the closer I got to that age. Now that I think about it, it has. I mean, I'm still struggling with balancing everything - family, work, my own interests and dreams. But I have learned to let things go, to not worry about things I can't control. I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy what I have instead of think about and obsess over what I want, because chances are, I'm not going to get those things. Besides, what I have is pretty darn good.

It's January 7th and that means...

- I totally forgot to write a New Year's post. Honestly, I was on vacation from work and being near a laptop made me think too much of writing grants and all the piles of work that were sitting on my desk just waiting for me. I didn't feel like posting anything.

- Today marks the 11th anniversary of my aunt and uncle's house fire. It seems like just yesterday that he died. It's even harder to believe that she 's gone now, too.

- I have a lot that I need to post about - the holidays, my new medication, writing, and the weirdo ear infection I had last week. Seriously, my ear was messed up for over a week...while I was on vacation. It sucked.

Because I haven't posted anything in a while, I need to ease back into it. So here's a total cop-out. It's a video I took just a couple of hours ago. It's Griffin being, well, being Griffin. There's really no other way to explain it. Just do me one favor - don't look at or comment on or even judge me for the condition of our family room. I'm chalking it up to fatigue, total vacation laziness, and the weirdo ear infection. Just watch Griffin and enjoy...