My Nellie...

Little Nellie passed away yesterday around 3 PM. I can't believe we lost both cats in less than a week. It is much harder than I thought. We picked her up from the vet where she was being treated with IV fluids and in a warming incubator. They handed her to us wrapped up in a pink fluffy towel and let us sit alone in a room with her. She looked so little.

We brought her to the animal shelter where we brought Jordan just a few days before. We are having both of them cremated and we will keep their ashes. Apparently, the weather affects when they are able to cremate the animals (as it is done outside), so they placed Nellie right next to Jordan until they are able to begin the process. It is somewhat comforting to know that they are together again.

The house was very quiet and empty last night. Our usual routines were replaced by a sense of strangeness and confusion. Nellie would be sleeping on my lap and Jordan would be resting on Patrick's chest. All would be right in the world. Instead, Patrick and I ate dinner and watched TV in silence, both preferring to ignore the huge void that was in the room with us.

On a cerebral level, I know that pets don't live forever. I understand that their life spans are much shorter than ours, and that dealing with illness and death is an inevitable part of owning and loving a pet. Despite knowing all of that, my heart still breaks.

Last night I slept curled up with the pink towel that we wrapped Nellie in when we took her to the animal shelter. It was just a tiny bit of comfort...