The panic reached its peak last night. With thoughts swirling through my head, I ended up sobbing. I cried until my head ached. Today was better - it started out like last night, but it improved a lot. I don't want to go back to last night. I don't want to even think about how I felt and those awful thoughts I had.
I'm trying to breathe through it all. I am trying to focus on everything else - this weekend's trip to Chicago, how absolutely beautiful our living room looks from the white lights on our Christmas tree, holiday shopping, the new book I just started reading, etc. I am trying to get through these times with a lot of faith and a dash of humor.
It will get better. I know it.