Oct 24, 2007

My New Thing

My mom just called to tell me that my cousin is pregnant. Let me rephrase that. My cousin, the bitch, is pregnant. She always was a bitch. The last time I saw her - this past July at her brother's wedding - she was really sweet and we sat and gossiped for over an hour. So, maybe she isn't a bitch...but for the sake of this conversation we'll say she is. She is pregnant. I am not. I am a lot older than her and got married before her, so I should be pregnant first, right? It's selfish of me, but that's how I feel right now.

Anyway...everyone seems to be pregnant these days. That is, everyone but me. We're obsessed with all the pregnant women in Hollywood, so it seems that the new "thing" is to be pregnant. Well, here's my new thing - I'm not going to have any kids. I don't want to have kids. I don't like kids.

So don't ask me when I'm going to have a baby because the answer is this - I'm not. It's my new thing...

Edited to add: And please don't try to convince me otherwise.


Jason said...

Please write a novel. Write it in first person. And let me read it during its various drafts. Because I think the literary world is missing out on you and your voice.

ACE said...

Jesus f-ing christ I love you.

Rock on, sister.

My sister is pregnant, too.

Not that I'm wanting a baby anytime soon, but I felt this little pang when my mother told me.

Stupid pregnant bitches.

Marie said...

It always happens after you decide it is not going to happen...take it from me!