Fear of Flying

I don't like the sensations of flying in an airplane. I don't like the claustrophobia. I don't like sitting so close to strangers. I also don't like driving 1,000 miles when I can hop on a plane and get there in less than 4 hours.

We leave Monday morning from O'Hare and will land in Norfolk, VA around noon. From there we get in our rental car and drive the 90 miles to the Outer Banks. I will be flying high on Valium and thrilled to be safely on the ground.

Duncan has never seen the ocean before and I am so excited that we will be with him when he first lays eyes on it. I am looking forward to a week away from work, as well as finally taking the time to enjoy summer. I feel it slipping by each and every time I walk out of work - tired and cranky and wanting nothing more than to go home and nap. Next week we will enjoy the weather and the beach. Our hotel is literally right on the sand. We can open our patio door and walk to the ocean. This is what I am trying to focus on instead of my fear.

And speaking of fear, isn't it odd that I have a fear of flying and we will be in the same town that the Wright Brothers took their first flight? Maybe it's a good sign...

Weekend Warrior

Patrick spent part of this weekend in the emergency room. He cut his hand open helping his father with some sort of project. I don't know what they were doing or how he cut his hand (does that make me a bad wife?). I can't be that bad since I did ask him if he wanted me to meet him at the ER - I also offered to bring the insurance card. However, his dad took him and he had the card in his wallet.

So seven stitches and one tetanus shot later he's all back to normal...but his hand looks kind of gross:



Hmm...could this be his way of getting out of hanging curtain rods in our bedroom?

Good News/Bad News

Last week I made the trek out to Chicago to have my annual visit with my neurologist. I have been seeing him since 2001 (or 2002 - I just can't remember). Anyway, even though he is located in Evanston, I continue to see him because he's just so wonderful. He sits and listens to me. I never feel like he's rushing to get to his next patient so he can go home. And every time I leave his office, I leave with a plan - not just a bunch of medication.

So, the bad news first: The preventive medication I am currently taking is not working. I knew this months ago and my doctor gave me the look that he also knew this would be the outcome. I'm glad he recommended this treatment and I'm glad I gave it a shot. The next step up from the class of meds I was taking are beta-blockers. Unfortunately, I cannot take these since they will aggravate my asthma. The next, and much more aggressive, step are anti-convulsive medications. These are serious, serious meds and have some not-so-great side effects - something called "cognitive deficiency" (short-term memory loss, difficulty finding the right words, confusion, lack of concentration). Doesn't sound too appealing, and inside my head I was debating whether or not I would take them. Turns out I didn't have much choice. My doctor informed me that the kind of migraines I get - menstrual migraines - do not respond to preventive meds. This means that I must rely on abortive medications - anything from Excedrin all the way up to Demerol.

Definitely not the news I was expecting to hear. However, the good news is that I discussed pregnancy and migraines with my doctor. I explained my fear of being "trapped" if I ever got pregnant - without migraine meds, I would seriously lose my mind. I've had the 18 hour migraines. The ones that don't respond to my meds. The ones that make me go to the ER. How would I ever handle it without anything other than Tylenol? That's like putting a Band-Aid over a bullet wound. My doctor informed me that while I was not allowed to take any of the migraine meds (Relpax, Imitrex, Frova, Maxalt, etc.), I could take Tylenol, aspirin-free Excedrin, Fioricet (my favorite painkiller), and he said he would be more than happy to write me a prescription for Vicodin. It sounds crazy, but he assured me that the most effective and the safest meds for me to take while pregnant would be narcotics. I'm still a bit concerned about that, but I did feel much better knowing that if I ever did get pregnant, I would not be trapped.

Cake!

I rarely get cravings for specific foods, but when I do, I just can't get it out of my head. Sure, I often have "a taste" for something, but an actual craving, where my mouth waters thinking about it...rarely.

I am craving chocolate cake. Layered chocolate cake. With chocolate frosting in between those layers.

Of course, this has to happen on the day I decide to give up sweets until our vacation. We're heading to the beach in a couple of weeks and I am having that "bathing suit panic" - like holy moly, I need to put one of those on pretty soon. I'm not a dieter, but I am aware that I haven't been eating very well lately. Gone are the days when I would cook healthy dinners. We've gone out to eat one too many times (and I ate like crazy on my weekend visit back home). So, just a few little tweaks here and there and I should be OK.

But I really, really want some cake...

Is This Heaven?

Lots of stuff to write about regarding this weekend - had to go to Chicago for my annual visit to the neurologist (will post about that later). I only have a few minutes so here's a brief story:

My grandpa spent his first full week in assisted living. He seems to have adapted quickly. He enjoys the food, the social environment, and the fact that he lives much closer to my parents. The other day he approached the woman who runs the center and he said, "Angela, this isn't assisted living, it's assisted heaven."

I'm glad that he likes it there.

More posts to follow...